Thoughts on Fear and the Future

I came across a quote today. It comes at a time in life when I have trouble looking to the future with faith. All my past experiences lead me to understand that God is faithful in all things and that He desires to prosper me and my family to His glory. This review of personal history should provide ultimate confidence in the steps I am taking. However, I find myself lying sleepless with fear of future failure.

When the past becomes more glorious than the future, we’ve got a problem.

– Greg DePriest Continue reading “Thoughts on Fear and the Future”

“Forged in Crisis” by Nancy Koehn

All these leaders were made. They were not born.

This book was given to me by my great friend, Greg DePriest. Upon receiving it, I moved it to the top of my reading list. This is the best leadership book I have read in several years. It is more than a modern repackaging of the same cliche materials that have been circulated and recirculated over and over again for the last 2 decades.

Forged in Crisis is a collection of 5 short stories. The heroes are shown in their humanity with intriguing insight into their triumphs and struggles.

One quote that particularly resonated with how I often feel came from Bonhoeffer:

“It is strange that in all my decisions, I am never completely clear about my motives. Is that a sign of lack of clarity, inner dishonesty, or is it a sign that we are led beyond that which we can discern, or is it both?” – Bonhoeffer

Continue reading ““Forged in Crisis” by Nancy Koehn”

“Dracula” by Bram Stoker

Dracula - Bram StokerI recently found myself on a trip without a book in hand. This was quite disturbing so I made my way to the airport’s candy, magazine, neck pillow, headphones and book shop. Nothing there caught my attention. I recalled a point in the past when I have downloaded a large selection of books from the “free” category on Kindle without even looking to see what they were. This prompted me to browse that list and see what was in my digital grab-bag. To my delight, I came across “Dracula”. This was exciting because modern history is flaunted with vampirical tails and, to the best of my knowledge, this began with Stoker’s tail.

The novel is well-written and definitely worth the read. Toward the end, I found myself longing for more detail in the events surrounding the enemy’s demise. I am not sure if this indicates a break from the character and story building in the early parts of the book or if i just didn’t want it to come to an end. Either way, it shows that my attention was not lost as the tail evolved.

I am happy to have read this book and will gladly classify it as a keeper among the “great classics” that have about a 50%-%50% “great” rating in this critic’s mind.

My Prideful Humility

How is it that people who are quite obviously eaten up with Pride can say they believe in God and appear to themselves very religious?

– C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)

I fear I have become and continue in becoming the object of whom this question is posed. I acknowledge this to be the essence of my depravity. It’s not that I think so highly of myself directly. I do, however, hold every thing, every effort, every attempt, every one up to the standard by which I measure expectations of myself. This continual comparison brings focus to the difference between each where I falsely assume my own approach to be the better of the two. So, while I may not hold myself in high esteem, I continually find that I am looking down on others.

This is not a conscious decision, which is all the more frightful in that it has become a part of who I am. I wish it were not so. I ask forgiveness. I work to be better. I achieve a moment of empathy where I truly see something for what it is, beautiful and glorious. I sense this to be a hint of humility. I am pleased with this growth in my nature – I take pride in my humility, now one step further from where I so desire to be.

God forgive me. Aid me in the transformation I so believe you have begun in me that I resist with such unintended veracity.